Archive for the ‘fit motherhood’ Category

I just looked back at my previous entries and realized that I took weight loss off of my plate of goals in May. For two and a half months, I’ve either been half committed or not at all committed to shedding the last 15-20 pounds.

Some of my friends are re-evaluating their lifestyles and setting some health and fitness goals, though, and it’s made me want to finish this thing. I’ve taken a long break, and now it’s time for the final push. The girls are doing a ten week training plan to run a half-marathon. While my knees are screaming, “No, ma’am” to that, I figure I can at least aim to shed 10 pounds during this ten weeks.

Something has changed in my head, though. I’m OK with only going to the gym three to four times a week instead of every day. I keep a running calorie total in my head, not online or on my phone. If I eat as much as I burn in any given day, I give myself a lot of grace. And heck, some days I just don’t worry about it at all and have wine or dessert, as much as I care to have. I think this is what it means to be healthy.

Sure, I still slip some days, struggle with body image and feeling beautiful, but that’s more the exception than the rule, and for me, that’s awesome progress, so I will celebrate.

The Numbers:

Weight: 146.6 (77.4% to stretch goal)
Change in pounds: -6.2 lbs.
Body Fat: 27.7% (-1.7%)
Bust: 36.0″ (same)
Waist: 30.5″ (-0.5″)
Hips: 39.5″ (-1.5)

All told, not bad for two and a half months where I wasn’t focused on losing. I’m excited to see what happens when I make finishing this thing a priority instead of just talking about it!

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Whereas last update I didn’t know why I hadn’t lost any weight, this time I do. I’ve done really quite well with eating every two hours, but the nights are still getting to me. A combination of boredom, emotions, and some hormonal changes that occur at this point post-partum has me eating too much. Coupled with not being at the gym nearly as much, it’s easy to see why I’m not losing.

The Numbers:

  • Weight: 152.8 (71.2% to stretch goal)
  • Change in pounds: -0.6 lbs.
  • Body Fat: 29.4% (-0.2%)
  • Bust: 36.0″ (same)
  • Waist: 31″ (-1.0″)
  • Hips: 41″ (same)

Here’s the rub: My joints are bothering me lately, so I try to take a day off when that happens. Sometimes two, even three days are required before my knees feel better. My hip flexors are driving me crazy, even though I’m only working out like five hours a week. It sucks, frankly. Anyhow, I don’t have much choice in the matter until I can afford to go back to Rolfing, and I don’t see that happening any time soon.

After the Joyful Babe, I hit a plateau around here and decided to take a six week break from losing. I pretty much ate what I wanted (within reason). I didn’t log calories or workouts, just took it easy, almost like maintenance mode. I think I’m going to hang out in this place for a couple of weeks. It feels like the right time. Last time I was able to drop the rest of the weight really quickly after my break, losing the last twenty pounds in less than two months. While I can’t say for sure that will happen again, here’s hoping.

Don’t even get me STARTED on clothes. I can comfortably wear two pairs of jeans. One is an 11/12 from Express (these jeans are more than a decade old, but they are my favorites). The other is a size 6 from Talbots. Do we see a problem here? I’m guessing that I’m a generous size 8 or a small size 10, but that’s just weird.

The other weird thing is my measurements. When I compare them to 7 mos pp from last time, my waist is two inches smaller (yay!) but my hips are two inches larger (boo). I am so not a fan of this! Makes me looks even more disproportionate since I tend to be . . . um, thicker on the bottom half.

Anyhow, so it is what it is. I can’t be too upset since I’m not doing the work, and I’m hoping that a reasonable break will help me get the remaining weight off in a couple of months when it’s time, and I think I’ll know when it’s time. And hey, by the next edition of Fit Motherhood, it will be summer vacation!!

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For the first time, I’m actually pretty embarrassed to bring you an update! If you read here regularly, you know the things I’ve been struggling with lately, but never before have I used that as an excuse for not losing weight. Sigh. Here goes.

  • Weight: 153.4 (70.6% to stretch goal)
  • Change in pounds: -1.4 lbs.
  • Body Fat: 29.6% (-0.2%)
  • Bust: 36.0″ (-0.5″)
  • Waist: 32″ (same)
  • Hips: 41″ (same)

Part of the problem is my night eating. This has gotten way out of control, latel. I’ll do fine all day, eating a moderate amount and going upstairs for the night. Then at some point around 10 pm I’ll just wander downstairs and eat anywhere from 300-500 calories. It’s not generally junk (because we don’t have much in the house), but a handful of almonds, one square of dark chocolate, and a banana is 300 calories. That explains why I’m only in a 350 calories per day deficit; I’d have lost double what I did if I were to cut the night eating.

Right now I’m going to try a modified Medifast type thing (except I’d never actually DO Medifast because a) the soy b) the artificial sweetener c) I’m nursing and d) I can’t spend that kind of cash just feeding myself). I’m eating five 200 calorie “meals” plus dinner. We’ll see if that works for me. I’m thinking it’ll look something like:

9 am: power bar

11 am: 2 eggs, 1 tangerine

1 pm: whole wheat English muffin with coconut oil

3 pm: 1 oz almonds, half an apple

5 pm: dinner

7 pm: green smoothie

9 pm (if necessary, going for 100 calories here, probably a banana)

That should bring me in around 1500 calories per day. My workouts have tapered down to about 6 hours per week, so that should be enough food for my body not to freak out. However, the Radiant One is 7 months old and still not on solids, so she may be requiring a little more nutrition right now. Who knows.

I’m not going to make a goal for the next two weeks. I’m really bummed that I’m not out of the 150s by now like I was hoping, and at this rate, I won’t be for another month (at least). Going to try to give myself some grace in this place, but I’m not happy about it.

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It’s that time again, time to face the scale and see if I’ve made any progress. And, well, I guess I made a little headway, but I’m starting to get to that place where this isn’t fun anymore. I feel like I’m working hard but not getting there as fast as I’d like.

  • Weight: 154.8 (69.2% to stretch goal)
  • Change in pounds: -2.8
  • Body Fat: 29.8% (woohoo, out of the 30s)
  • Bust: 36.5″ (-1″)
  • Waist: 32″ (-.5″)
  • Hips: 41″ (-.5″)

I can’t go into where I am emotionally right now, partly because I don’t exactly know myself. I’m in deep water right now, clinging to everything that brings me comfort, but without receiving comfort. I’m sad and scared and hurting and don’t have any healthy outlets. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.



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What an interesting two weeks! My precious Radiant One has some serious separation anxiety, so I haven’t gotten to go to the gym during the day for more than two weeks now. In fact, my gym time is down to about four hours a week. It sorta bums me out, but my baby’s needs come first.

Compounding my workout problem is the weather here. It’s nasty. Super humid, raining, “very high” pollen levels as per the news each day. The rain makes my knees hurt something fierce, and the pollen makes going for a run a sneezefest. I know it’s silly to complain, but I’m dealing with some challenges. I’m sure they’ll resolve soon enough!

I lost 3.8 lbs. during the last two weeks. That’s pretty good, given that I haven’t worked out much and have kept my calories about where they were before. But the MOST interesting part is that I’ve lost three pounds in the last three days. I really believe that with the stress of the wedding over, my body was just ready to let it go. Finally!

I forgot what a pain in the butt it is to be where I am. My size 12s are too big, and they look it. But I have three pairs of jeans in a size 10, and they’re all uncomfortably tight. One pair is the same style from Old Navy, purchased on the SAME DAY two years ago, in both a 12 and a 10. How’s that for silly? I can pull the 12s off without unbuttoning them, but barely breathe in the 10s. Oh well, just more motivation to get into 8s, I guess!

  • Current weight: 157.2 (67% to stretch goal)
  • Change in pounds: -3.8
  • Body Fat: 30.8% (-0.8%)
  • Bust 37.5″ (-0.5″))
  • Waist: 32.5″ (-0.5″)
  • Hips: 41.5″ (-0.5″)

I don’t really have a goal for the next two weeks. Ideally, I’d like to be out of the 150s in four weeks. It’s doable, but just barely. We’ll see!


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  • Current weight: 162.6 (61% to stretch goal)
  • Change in pounds: -6.8
  • Body Fat: 32.7% (-1.5%)

There are no measurements because I couldn’t find the tape measure (something about having four kids, I’m sure it’s in one of their bedrooms). I’d look again today, but we had Chuck E. Cheese for my girl’s birthday, and I’m up two pounds of water weight from all that salt, blech.

Soo… I lost a great deal of weight these last two weeks. I wonder if it’s going to stay that way; two great weeks followed by two blah weeks. I can’t say. All I know is that by the ides of March I should be in the 150’s again, woot!

150 is a mental place for me that’s tough to conquer. It’s what I weighed in high school. The day I broke 150 last time I wept. The day I got under 140 was “wow.” I leveled out at 133 and was pretty content there. This time I’m shooting for 124, just to see how it feels.

I may decide once I get into the 130s that 124 just isn’t for me. I might decide I’d like to go a bit further. The low end of healthy for my height is 105, so I’ve got plenty of room (and let me be clear, I don’t see myself EVER wanting to be below 115 or so). All that’s wishful thinking right now, though, as I’m still in the 160s. Still, I’ll call this two weeks a solid effort and hope that this quick weight loss trend continues!

Since my HRM died, I read about a jillion reviews and decided to try the Polar FT4 monitor and the Wearlink+ strap. I’m pleased with how the strap feels for the most part, but wearing it for yoga is decidedly uncomfortable when you’re doing work on your belly. That wasn’t the case with my T31 strap. Otherwise, I’m finding it comfortable and accurate, and a great purchase!

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The last two weeks have been interesting. I feel like I lost a good deal of weight, and the emotional work has been challenging. I do NOT feel rested, peaceful, or terribly focused. Instead I feel tired, stressed, and unmotivated.

I guess that’s the crux of it, though. Going to the gym when you don’t feel like it. Just doing the #%*& thing because you know that it’s important and you have a goal. So I did it. Most days I did the two hours I’m “allowed” (as per NSCO), taking it low and slow and muddling through. It’s ok. Not every workout has to be 100% high energy jumping all over the place.

Here are the stats:

  • Current weight: 171.8 pounds
  • Change in pounds: -6.2 pounds
  • Bust 39″ (-1″)
  • Waist: 34.5″ (-1.5″)
  • Hips: 44″ (-1.0″)

In the last two weeks I’ve gone from a super snug size 14 to a comfortable size 12. All told, I lost 16 lbs. in the month of January, and that’s pretty amazing to me. I’m finally starting to see a difference in my body. Here’s hoping I’ll be out of the 170s for the next update!

My stretch goal is to get down to 124, meaning I’ll have lost 100 lbs from my delivery weight. I’m about 4 lbs. behind on getting there by my goal date of August 24. I’m not even sure I want to get that small, but I don’t like being behind on a goal. Oh well, at least I’m close!

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I forgot to post two weeks ago, so here we are today. I’m a bit disappointed because the scale is up nearly half a pound over Saturday’s weight, and I’m not sure why. I’m recording between a 600 and 800 calorie deficit each day, so I’m guessing it’s water weight.

My scale has both body fat and hydration percentages. My BF is down to 36% (from 41% when I started) and my hydration is up to 44% (from 41% when I started).

As for the hard numbers, here they are:

Current weight: 177.0 pounds
Change in pounds: -6.0 pounds
Bust 40″ (same)
Waist: 36″ (-0.5″)
Hips: 45″ (-1.5″)

I’m in a difficult place right now mentally. I’m strong, but I’m still really large. This is compounded by the fact that the women at my gym look incredible. I mean really, it’s ridiculous. Everyone from 16 to 60 (and I’m not kidding) look like they’re ready for their Fitness shoots.

They all seem to lift weights (which I love), and they’re all tiny and muscular and proportionate. It also doesn’t help that my gym is three minutes from a local college campus, so the sorority girls and women’s athletics work out there, too.

The gym environment is good for me in terms of making me want my fitness back. It’s bad for me in terms of my mental safety. I doubt that I’ll ever be actively eating disordered again, but that tendency toward obsession is still there.

All that said, things are going. Not as quickly as I’d hoped, but I guess I’m making progress. Since weight loss can’t be my primary focus right now, I guess it’s good enough. I don’t have to be happy about it, I just have to keep working.

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I discovered something a little eerie. When the Joyful One was three months old, I weighed 180 lbs. Now the Radiant Babe is three months old (well, she will be in a week), I weigh 183 lbs. That’s only interesting because I delivered this baby weighing three pounds more than I did number three.

What does that say to me? Well, mostly that, even though I’m not a fan of this (painfully) slow weight loss thing, I’m probably exactly where I’m supposed to be. And maybe, just maybe, it means that things will pick up like they did last time around.

This two-week period was tough for a great many reasons. Counseling is hard. It’s almost Christmas. I haven’t been to the gym as much as I’d like. My estranged father contacted me. In short, I’m all over the place emotionally. Oh, and I’ve been sick for about four days. Needless to say, it’s been difficult.

That said, no more dawdling:
Current weight: 183.0 pounds
Change in pounds: -0.2 pounds
Bust 40″
Waist: 36.5″
Hips 46.5″

One very interesting thing is that I’m fitting into size 14 jeans, whereas last time it took me until the baby was five months old. Apparently I carry a great deal more muscle mass this time around. Yay!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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I was working on a series on Fit Motherhood at GenXXL, following my weight loss journey after having sweet baby number four. Not sure what’s going on with the site, but it doesn’t appear to be functioning. I’ve been updating every two weeks and will be up for an update on Wednesday.

Before I dive in, here’s a recap of the updates since the baby was born on September 29:

September 30

224 pounds September 29 (day of delivery)
203 pounds October 1 (2 days after delivery)
21% to goal weight
Chest: 43″
Waist: 41″
Hips: 49″

October 14
Current weight: 191.2 pounds
Percent to goal: 33%
Bust: 43″ (no change)
Waist: 39″ (2″ lost)
Hips: 48″ (2″ lost)

October 27
Current weight: 186.4 pounds
Change in pounds: -4.8
Percent to goal: 38%
Bust: 42″ (-1″)
Waist: 38.5″ (-1/2″)
Hips: 47.5″ (-1/2″)

November 10
Weight 189.4
Change: -1.2 lbs
Percent to goal: 34.6
Bust: 41″ (-1″)
Waist: 38″ (-.5″)
Hips: 47″

November 24
Current weight: 185.4 pounds
Change in pounds: -4.0 pounds
Bust: 40″ (-1″)
Waist: 37″ (-1“)
Hips: 47.0″

December 8
Current weight: 183.2 pounds
Change in pounds: -2.2 pounds
Bust 40″
Waist: 36.5″ (-1/2″)
Hips 46.5″ (-1/2″)

That’s where we’re starting from over here. I know for sure that I’ll have gained from the last update when I post this week, and I’m frustrated.

I’ve eaten less than my recommended calorie levels by just a bit, but gained three pounds in the last week. I track all my calories and exercise, and the numbers say I should’ve lost about a pound and a half, being in a 5100 calorie deficit. Grr.

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