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I forgot to post two weeks ago, so here we are today. I’m a bit disappointed because the scale is up nearly half a pound over Saturday’s weight, and I’m not sure why. I’m recording between a 600 and 800 calorie deficit each day, so I’m guessing it’s water weight.

My scale has both body fat and hydration percentages. My BF is down to 36% (from 41% when I started) and my hydration is up to 44% (from 41% when I started).

As for the hard numbers, here they are:

Current weight: 177.0 pounds
Change in pounds: -6.0 pounds
Bust 40″ (same)
Waist: 36″ (-0.5″)
Hips: 45″ (-1.5″)

I’m in a difficult place right now mentally. I’m strong, but I’m still really large. This is compounded by the fact that the women at my gym look incredible. I mean really, it’s ridiculous. Everyone from 16 to 60 (and I’m not kidding) look like they’re ready for their Fitness shoots.

They all seem to lift weights (which I love), and they’re all tiny and muscular and proportionate. It also doesn’t help that my gym is three minutes from a local college campus, so the sorority girls and women’s athletics work out there, too.

The gym environment is good for me in terms of making me want my fitness back. It’s bad for me in terms of my mental safety. I doubt that I’ll ever be actively eating disordered again, but that tendency toward obsession is still there.

All that said, things are going. Not as quickly as I’d hoped, but I guess I’m making progress. Since weight loss can’t be my primary focus right now, I guess it’s good enough. I don’t have to be happy about it, I just have to keep working.

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I discovered something a little eerie. When the Joyful One was three months old, I weighed 180 lbs. Now the Radiant Babe is three months old (well, she will be in a week), I weigh 183 lbs. That’s only interesting because I delivered this baby weighing three pounds more than I did number three.

What does that say to me? Well, mostly that, even though I’m not a fan of this (painfully) slow weight loss thing, I’m probably exactly where I’m supposed to be. And maybe, just maybe, it means that things will pick up like they did last time around.

This two-week period was tough for a great many reasons. Counseling is hard. It’s almost Christmas. I haven’t been to the gym as much as I’d like. My estranged father contacted me. In short, I’m all over the place emotionally. Oh, and I’ve been sick for about four days. Needless to say, it’s been difficult.

That said, no more dawdling:
Current weight: 183.0 pounds
Change in pounds: -0.2 pounds
Bust 40″
Waist: 36.5″
Hips 46.5″

One very interesting thing is that I’m fitting into size 14 jeans, whereas last time it took me until the baby was five months old. Apparently I carry a great deal more muscle mass this time around. Yay!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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I was working on a series on Fit Motherhood at GenXXL, following my weight loss journey after having sweet baby number four. Not sure what’s going on with the site, but it doesn’t appear to be functioning. I’ve been updating every two weeks and will be up for an update on Wednesday.

Before I dive in, here’s a recap of the updates since the baby was born on September 29:

September 30

224 pounds September 29 (day of delivery)
203 pounds October 1 (2 days after delivery)
21% to goal weight
Chest: 43″
Waist: 41″
Hips: 49″

October 14
Current weight: 191.2 pounds
Percent to goal: 33%
Bust: 43″ (no change)
Waist: 39″ (2″ lost)
Hips: 48″ (2″ lost)

October 27
Current weight: 186.4 pounds
Change in pounds: -4.8
Percent to goal: 38%
Bust: 42″ (-1″)
Waist: 38.5″ (-1/2″)
Hips: 47.5″ (-1/2″)

November 10
Weight 189.4
Change: -1.2 lbs
Percent to goal: 34.6
Bust: 41″ (-1″)
Waist: 38″ (-.5″)
Hips: 47″

November 24
Current weight: 185.4 pounds
Change in pounds: -4.0 pounds
Bust: 40″ (-1″)
Waist: 37″ (-1“)
Hips: 47.0″

December 8
Current weight: 183.2 pounds
Change in pounds: -2.2 pounds
Bust 40″
Waist: 36.5″ (-1/2″)
Hips 46.5″ (-1/2″)

That’s where we’re starting from over here. I know for sure that I’ll have gained from the last update when I post this week, and I’m frustrated.

I’ve eaten less than my recommended calorie levels by just a bit, but gained three pounds in the last week. I track all my calories and exercise, and the numbers say I should’ve lost about a pound and a half, being in a 5100 calorie deficit. Grr.

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