Posts Tagged ‘deririous’

I haven’t fasted much in my Christian life because I’ve been pregnant or nursing almost the whole time. But last week, I ate and ate (ad nauseum, literally), to the point that I gained two pounds. This is quite unlike me, so by Monday night I realized that something was off, that I was either stuffing emotion or the memory of some event or SOMETHING, and it was robbing me of freedom. Monday night, I felt the Lord ask me to fast on Tuesday.

Now, given that I am the sole nutritional support for an infant, I knew I couldn’t fast food altogether. No matter what spiritual breakthrough I’m looking for, nothing is more important than making sure my baby is getting good nutrition. That said, I trust that my God wouldn’t ask me to fast if I were going to harm my sweet baby.

Liquids only, I decided, starting with a n-a-s-t-y smoothie made with chia seed, carrots, spinach, Vitamineral Green, and hemp protein powder (covering my nutritional bases). If you’ve never fasted, you wouldn’t believe how strong the psychological urge is just to chew. Remove it, focus that energy on God, spend some time in worship, and the spiritual fires will be blazing in no time (at least in my limited experience).

Then in the afternoon, Jesus came. He broke through and showed me a truth that I’ve been avoiding big time. He took this awful thing, which is now an unavoidable truth, and made it bearable. I can say, “Thank You” for the truth, ugly as it is, as He promised that I only have to face it because He is going to use it. I don’t know how, or when or even why, but indeed His promise is enough.

And so it goes; my appetite has returned to normal, I’ve lost 2.5 lbs in the last two days eating a normal amount, and God is still good. Because this is an intensely private thing Jesus is walking me through, I’m not sure how much I’ll blog about it. I’m here, and we’re ok, it’s just deep water.


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