Posts Tagged ‘Moses’

I’ve been spending some time in this desert place, and Jesus has showed me some neat things, calmed some fears, and encouraged me to press on. In fact, the Not-So-Casual Observer and I talked at length about what this feels like, some dangers along the way, and what to do when I feel like it’s never going to end. As amazing and eye-opening as our sessions are, Jesus has been showing me some stuff that’s even better.

The first beautiful part of the desert has been what I’ve noticed about myself. I realized that when I slow down, stop working, and just sit awhile, I hurt. I hurt in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening. I hurt down deep, such that I feel tears prick behind my eyes for no discernible reason. I hurt enough to press both hands to my chest, hoping to quell the bursting in my heart. I can safely say that this is pain, and I’m in it.

Why is that beautiful? Well, because I don’t have to actually DO anything. Could it be that my healing here has nothing to do with my activity, but everything to do with my rest and surrender? Is the mystery really that I don’t have to perform any action, rather simply make a place for pain in my life and let it find its own place to pour out? I think I love this. And if you know what a performance-oriented person I have been known to be, that alone should evidence the massive change in my last few months.

This morning I felt like I should read the account of the Israelites’ time in the desert, and wow do I have some amazing things to look forward to. While they simply moved from place to place at God’s behest, He did amazing things even for this grumbling and unfaithful people. If my desert experience looks anything like theirs, it’ll be an awesome adventure.

Sandals that never wear out to keep my feet from burning
Fresh food each morning delivered to wherever I am in the journey
The impossible–the sea parts as I pass through, washing away all that seeks to harm me once I’m safely on the other shore


A visible covenant
My face shining after time with Him
The glory of the Lord
An established rule and reign

A cloud for direction
Rebuke and pardon

Healing through obedience

Cities of refuge
Songs and blessings

This is going to be amazing.

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Image from Riversonfineart.com

In preparing to leave our church, the Lord has been speaking two specific scriptures to me time and again. The first was preparatory, “I will not let you go until You bless me.” It was a double reminder: first, to be willing to struggle for the blessing of doing what God has called us to do, and second to know that we will not leave where we are without a wholehearted sending from our church.

The second scripture is Ex 3:1-6. There Moses was, tending his sheep on the mountain of God, minding his own business. Then, the angel of the Lord just appears in the burning bush. Moses, understandably interested in this on-fire-but-not-consumed bush, goes to check it out. As he approaches, God speaks to him by name.

“Take your sandals off, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”

This morning, I had a thought. God called Moses to remove his sandals, when effectively all sandals did in those times was to keep a bit of separation from the elements. Moses’ feet were surely filthy beneath the thin bit of leather; sand gets in and on everything and sticks violently. So why remove them if what’s beneath is just as dirty as the shoes themselves?

Because God wanted Moses closer to Himself. He wanted what stood between them to be removed. God’s heart is that what separates us should be taken away so that even our filthy feet vibrate with His holiness.

I wonder, do the feet tingle while standing where God is? Do they reverberate with His awesome presence? Are we cleansed by simply standing where we are told to stand? I think so, on all accounts.

Last night we got our fourth and final green light in the new church process; I talked to the Not-So-Casual Observer about how the counseling relationship looks if we are in the same church. It was a good discussion, and so freeing to know that SHE is the one who will take care of the boundaries, all I have to do is follow her lead. That feels safe to me.

The grief is finally setting in, and I’m bracing myself for a season of painful goodbyes and well as painful hellos (I’m a little shy in new situations). I’m hoping to embrace it as yet another gift of this season of my life.

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