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Posts Tagged ‘truth’

Something I’ve been kicking around lately is the idea of truth. It all started last year when Robbie Dawkins came to my church and showed a video clip from the movie “Furious Love.” There’s a point in the trailer that says, “Truth is not a teaching. Truth is a Person.”

A few days before, I was talking to Jesus about naming the year 2011, and He told me it’s the year of “pravda,” the Russian word for truth. And so it has been.

Someone said to me two weeks ago that a group I’d attended seems to be a magnet for honest people. I agreed, the people there were pretty open about talking about their pasts. That much is undeniable. Heck, I’d even shared some of my stuff, and it was my first time meeting everyone in this small group.

But that statement has been gnawing at me for the last couple of weeks, and I finally realized what it is. The Not-So-Casual Observer gave me a book that says, “It harms our souls to give the facts and nothing but that facts,” and that’s exactly what I do. I can talk about my stuff, but there’s absolutely no emotional connection to what I’m saying.

So what is the truth? It is universal. It is relentless. It is enduring. It has no shadow or turning. Truth is a person, the person of Jesus. Truth is integrous, integrated. And since what I speak engages only my body (lips) and not my soul (emotions) and spirit, it’s not integrated. It is not truth.

I’m mulling this over, how to be safe enough to speak truth. I’ve taken some risks lately in relationships to talk about not only the things that happened to me, but also how they made me feel, and how they affect me now. It feels profoundly risky, and it exposes my fear of being known, but I guess those are good things. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

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Happy new year! It seems like 2010 was hard for almost everyone I know, so along with them, I was ready to turn my calendar over to a new year.

I don’t do well when I try to focus my attention on too many things, perhaps because I’m already relatively busy. When I realize that my life is already full of my four babies, home schooling, getting good nutrition, weight loss, church obligations, and the gym, it seems silly to take on another thing.

But I have.

I started a new blog called The Selective Omnivore, where I work through some vegan recipes, mostly from Veganomicon. When they don’t work as written, I’ve decided to “omni it up,” making changes that might not be vegan, but sure are tasty. Check it out when you have a sec!

As I said in my last post, I expect that 2011’s going to be the year of pravda, truth. I’m scared of it and looking forward to it, but it seems like the events of the last few months are aligning to make that desire for truth a reality in my life.

Between beginning counseling, my uncle coming into my life, having an actual conversation with my mother, and my father contacting me, it’s just time.

Finally, I’m recommitting to my Russian studies. I essentially took all of 2010 off, and I’ve forgotten more than I remember. My goal is to get through all three levels of Rosetta Stone by the end of the year, then perhaps to start some formal Russian classes when I’ve finished.

I’m looking for truth in little pockets of my life, in corners and under rugs and in the marrow of my bones. Truth is succulent. Truth is nourishing. Truth is.

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Over at A Holy Experience, Ann mentioned how she names her years. I’ve been thinking about that; how these seasons of my life really deserve to be honored. But how does one name a year? What would you call the hardest thing you’ve ever walked through, and why give it a name to remember?

I have the sense that 2011 is going to be trying in a number of ways. That sorta bums me out because 2010 was tough for lots of reasons; pregnancy, physical pain, beginning homeschooling, adding a fourth baby to the mix.

This year, sigh. I started counseling for some of my issues in October, and man, the pressure is mounting. Here’s a recap of my last three months: gave birth, started counseling, was contacted by my father’s estranged brother, my job disappeared, and the cherry on top of the 2010 sundae, my father contacted me a few days ago.

Yeah, that father. The one I haven’t talked to in 12 years and haven’t seen in almost 20. Joy.

Needless to say, there’s a lot to work through.

But back to 2011’s title. It came to me today when I was watching a mediocre movie, When In Rome. The guys were in a bar and I spied a sign in Russian. In English, it’s transliterated “pravda.” Truth.

2011 will be the year of truth. I’m terrified. Bring it on.

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